Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
