"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
