Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
