I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
