Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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