Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize