hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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