The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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