She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
