Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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