went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
