Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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