Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
