Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
