boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize