My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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