No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
