So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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