The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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