in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
