i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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