you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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