So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
