I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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