Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
