just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
that's an acceptable place to lick
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
