Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
