i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
