I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
