she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
