Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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