I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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