she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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