I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
