woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
no. you can't hotbox the world.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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