I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
