$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize