Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
