Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
