Dual....:-)
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
