Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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