Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
