she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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