last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize