Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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