not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
