The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
i think i just lost a toe
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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