you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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