I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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