Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
