I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Betty ford says i'm here all night
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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