Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I deserve this hangover.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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