don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
