ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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