thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
