What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Is Oprah even human
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
