Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
