No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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