Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
