just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
How naked do you want me to be?
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